Okay, okay…so you would know if you had been abducted by aliens, right? While being beamed into a spaceship seems like it would be a memorable experience, it doesn’t seem likely that aliens would choose you, conduct experiments, and then just send you walking on your way. “Hypnotic regression is often used to recall this information but sometimes this is not necessary and it is spontaneously recalled,” Nigel Watson, author of the UFO Investigations Manual, says. “The consequences for the abductee can be go or bad…On the bad side of the equation, they can take to drug, food, and alcohol abuse. Their behavior can become excessive and erratic. What triggers these events could be psychological in nature, although abductee researchers think that the sheer number of people who report such indications rules that out and points to a common ‘abductee experience’ that is caused by alien visitors.”
So how can you tell if you’ve been abducted? MetroUK just published this list based on self-proclaimed abductees and we’re not sure how to feel about it…
1. LOST TIME
Missing hours, or days in which you cannot remember what happened. Does not include missing days due to alcohol.
2. MARKS ON YOUR BODY
Humans are Free suggests to look out, in particular, for laser cuts on your ankles, wrists or back
3. HUMMING NOISES AT NIGHT
Have you heard them?
4. A FEELING OF BEING WATCHED
Especially at night.
You are just a puppet in the hands of your alien masters.
6. SINUS PROBLEMS
Or indeed any form of sudden illness. Got a rash? Aliens.
7. DREAMING ABOUT OWLS
Or other animals such as wolves.
8. TURNING VEGETARIAN
NOW we know why it happens.
9. LOW SELF-ESTEEM
It’s not you, it’s extraterrestrials.
10. BLOOD ON YOUR PILLOW
God only knows what ‘THEY’ have done to you.
11. YOUR TV GOES FUNNY
… but only when you walk near it…
12. SCARY CUPBOARD
Fear of your cupboard is a near-certain indicator that terrible things have happened to your bottom while you slept.
13. TAKING VITAMINS COMPULSIVELY
‘I kept telling myself it was because I wanted to be healthy…’ says one abductee.
Do you do any of the above?